Spiritual Compassion -Love Thy Father And Mother

My name is Marie, and this is my story. When I was 10 years old, my family immigrated to the United States from Jamaica. My family consisted of my mother, father, older brother and my paternal grandparents. My mother’s parents died when she was very young. Her aunt raised her.

My childhood was very normal. My brother and I were raised with much love and family values. My father and grandfather worked, while my mother and grandmother took care of the household.

Education was extremely important in our family. I was always the top in the class. My father would always say, “Get a good education, and the world is yours.”

In my last year of high school, I met my future husband, Johnny. He was older and very dashing. I was the envy of all my friends. For me, it was love at first sight. Soon after graduating from high school, we got married. Within a month or two, I got pregnant. At first, our relationship was great. However, after the birth of our son things began to change.

Johnny felt that I was giving too much attention to the baby, and neglecting his needs. Although he was older than me, he was very immature and selfish. After one of our many arguments, he walked out and never returned. Our marriage lasted two years.

In addition to having no job or money, I had a newborn baby I needed to support. Johnny had not only walked out; he had disappeared. I decided to move in with my parents. My parents were great. They supported me in every possible way. My mother took care of my son, John, while I went job hunting. After several job interviews, a company hired me as a clerical worker. After two years, I was the company’s bookkeeper. I stayed with the company until my retirement.

Although I dated, and had two serious relationships, I never remarried. I was very devoted to my son, and did not want to disrupt our relationship we had.

After approximately five years, I had saved enough money to buy a house. In those days, houses were not too expensive. In order to pay the bills and supply my son with all his needs, I would occasionally work a second job.

By this time, my grandparents had passed away; and my brother had married and was living in San Francisco. I was extremely fortunate. I had my parents living with me. They looked after my son whenever I was working, or taking night courses. Yes, I took night courses in business to better myself.

One of the happiest days of my life was when my son graduated from college. When he told me that he wanted to attend a Master’s program, I was elated. I gave him all the financial support he needed. I wanted him to be happy.

After two years, he graduated with a business degree. Later, he became a CPA. I was the proudest mother in the entire universe.

A year later, my father passed away. I was distraught. He was the beacon in our lives. He had always been there to guide and help us along the way. His passing was a very sad chapter in our lives.

Upon his passing, it was decided that my mother would continue to live with me, and visit my brother twice a year. The arrangement was perfect since we were very close. During our time together, we traveled a lot. We always had so much fun together. Our relationship was very meaningful and special. I would have done anything for her.

By now, my son had secured a good job and was living on his own. A year later, he got married. Soon afterward, he became a father. Joshua was the newest member of our family. Everything was perfect. I was healthy and working; my mother was living with me; and my son was happily married with a son.

Upon my retirement, things began to change. My mother passed away, and my son had divorced and remarried. He was the father of four children.

I was very close to my grandchildren when they were young. They would stay overnight a few times a month. We would play games, go to the movies or take short trips. As they got older, I saw less of them. Whenever my son visited, which was two or three times a month, he would say that they were busy with school or other activities.

As for me, I kept myself busy. Besides socializing with my neighborhood friends, I attended the senior citizen community center. It was great fun. We would play cards or bingo, and take several short trips a year. Although I did not get love from my family, I received much love from my friends.

Then, at the age of 78, I fell and broke my hipbone. I was taken to the hospital and had a hip replacement. During my stay in the hospital and rehab, I received more visits from friends than family.

On the day that I was discharged, my son picked me up. He began to talk about nursing homes, and the many benefits they provide. When I refused adamantly to entertain his suggestion, the conversation was terminated.

During my recovery period, I had a visiting nurse and home attendant. They were so sweet and caring. Once a month, my son would visit me. His conversation would always start with nursing homes. He seemed to be obsessed with them. Every time, I would stop him and change the topic. Although he would get upset, he would not persist.

As for my grandchildren, they never came to visit me. No, I'm wrong. One of my grandsons did come over to ask for money. When I gave him ten dollars, he vanished quickly without saying thank you or goodbye.

My friends became my family. They would come over to keep me company. When I became strong enough to move, my home attendant would accompany me to the community center.

Two years later, I was back in the hospital. I had fallen and fractured my other hip. After a medical procedure and a short hospital stay, I was placed in a rehabilitation center. I stayed there several weeks. My son only came to visit me three or four times during my entire stay. As for my grandchildren, they never showed up. My neighbors and friends were the ones who visited me faithfully, made me laugh and gave me love.

When I returned home little did I know that my days were numbered. Since I was in the hospital, I gave my son power of attorney. I never thought he would use it against me. Behind my back, my son arranged to sell my home and place me in a nursing home. His reason was that I was getting too old to take care of myself. How would he know? He was never around to see that I was never alone. I had my neighbors, friends and a wonderful home attendant.

Too sick and tired of arguing with him, I gave in without a fight. All of my precious belongings were dispersed; and I was shipped to a nursing home. That was the most depressing day of my life. I felt like an unwanted human being sent to the woods to die alone. Even though I was wheel chair bound, my mind was clear.

In the nursing home, things never changed. It was the same routine everyday. They would wake me up early, help me get dress and place me in my wheel chair. For hours, I stared out the window. You have no idea what loneliness is until you find yourself in that situation. I just wanted to die. My son took away my home and friends, and left me in a place where loneliness and sadness roamed the corridors.

Once in awhile my friends would come and visit, but the visits became less and less. The traveling was a bit too much for them. My son had selected a nursing home that was extremely far from where I lived.

My son came once a month, and only stayed a few minutes. He was always in a hurry. “Do you need something?…I need to go …I have something I need to do,” he would always say. “Yes, I need something. How about some love for your mother,” I would say to myself. After awhile, the visits were replaced by infrequent phone calls.

I began establishing a relationship with the woman in the next room. Her name was Betty. Since my friends had stopped coming to visit me due of illness or death, Betty became my only friend. Her situation was similar to mine. We were the abandoned parents of ungrateful children.

Betty had three children-two daughters and a son. On rare occasions, her oldest daughter would drop by for a quick visit. I never saw the other two.

On several occasions, I would drop by her room and find her with tears in her eyes staring at photos of her children and grandchildren.

After two years, Betty’s health began to decline. She was in and out of hospitals. Then, one day, Betty passed away in her sleep. My life was never the same after that. My only friend had gone away leaving me behind.

Although there were several patients and staff members in the home, it was not the same. The majority of the patients were either very sick or in a world of their own. As for the staff, they would come and go.

By this time, my life was completely empty. I had no friends or family. Days turned into weeks; weeks turned into months; and months turned into years. Nothing changed in my life. Everyday I prayed to God to take me away. I no longer wanted to live.

Then one day, I woke up and found myself standing in front of a lifeless body. It was the body older woman. She looked extremely old and worn out. As I looked closely, I noticed that it was me. At first, I did not understand what was happening. I thought I was dreaming. After a short while, I realized that I was no longer part of the earth realm. God had granted my wish.

I was free. I no longer carried the burden of earthly emotions and/or illnesses. Feelings of depression and sadness did not exist.

When I turned around, I noticed familiar figures standing in front of an immense bright light. It was my parents and grandmother. They gave me a welcoming smile and guided me into the light.

From time to time, I am allowed to visit my family down on earth. My son, who never had time for me, is experiencing the same loneliness that I experienced. He is ill and living by himself. His children rarely call or visit. He spends days and weeks alone in his apartment. He seems to be forgotten by all.

At times, he calls out my name. He has even asked God to forgive him for all the wrong things he did.

"Oh, dear God, forgive me. You gave me a wonderful mother, and I did not know how to appreciate her. Now, she is gone and I am feeling the weight of my sins. Please, have mercy on my soul. Mother, if you are around, please forgive me for my lack of compassion," I would hear him say.

If there is someone in your life that has been good to you, reach out to them and tell them how much you love them. As a person gets older, it is important for them to know that they are loved.

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