Spiritual Love -Love Thy Elders
Spiritual Love My name is Marie, and this is my story. When I was 10 years old, my family immigrated to the United States from Jamaica. My family consisted of my mother, father, older brother and my paternal grandparents. My mother’s parents died when she was very young. She was raised by her aunt. My childhood was very normal. There was much love in our home. My father and grandfather worked, while my mother and grandmother took care of us and the household. My parents taught us that education was very important. I loved school, and always received good grades. In my last year of high school, I met my husband, Johnny. He was a bit older and very handsome. For me, it was love at first sight. Soon after graduating from high school we got married. Within a month or two, I got pregnant. At first, our relationship was great. But, after the birth of our son things began to change. Johnny felt that I was giving too much attention to the baby, and neglecting his needs. Although he was older than me, he was very immature and selfish. After one of our many arguments, he walked out and never returned. He was never to be seen again. Our marriage lasted two years. Since I had no money or job, I moved in with my parents. My mother took care of my son, John, while I went job hunting. After several job interviews, I was hired by a company as a clerical worker. After two years, I was the company’s bookkeeper. I stayed there until my retirement. Although I went out on dates, and had one or two serious relationships, I never remarried. I was very devoted to my son, and did not want to disrupt our relationship in any way. After a period of about five years, I had saved enough money to buy a house. In those days, houses were not that expensive. In order to pay the bills and give my son everything he needed, I would occasionally work a second job. My son lacked nothing. I made sure his needs were provided. By this time, my grandparents were no longer around, and my brother had married and moved to San Francisco. I was extremely fortunate. My parents remained by my side and were very supportive. They looked after my son whenever I was working, or taking night courses. Yes, I took night courses in business to better myself. One of the happiest day of my life was when my son graduated from college. When he told me that he wanted to attend a Master’s program, I was elated. After two years, he graduated with a business degree. Later on, he became a CPA. I was the proudest mother in the entire universe. A year later, my father passed away. I was distraught. He was the beacon in our lives. He had always been there to guide and help us along the way. His passing was a very sad chapter in our lives. Upon his passing, it was decided that my mother would live with me, and visit my brother twice a year. The arrangement was perfect since we were very close. During our time together, we traveled a lot. We always had so much fun together. Our relationship was very meaningful and special. I would have done anything for her. By now, my son had secured a good job and was living on his own. A year later, he got married; and a year after that Joshua became the newest member of our family. Everything was perfect. I was healthy and working; my mother was living with me; and my son was happily married with a son. Things could not get better than that.
Upon my retirement, things began to change- my mother passed away, and my son had divorced and remarried. He was the father of four children. I was very close to my grandchildren when they were young. They would stay overnight a few times a month. We would play games, go to the movies or take short trips. As they got older I saw less and less of them. Whenever my son would visit, which was two or three times a month, he would say that they were busy with school or other activities. As for me, I kept myself busy. Besides socializing with my neighborhood friends, I attended the senior citizen community center. It was great fun. We would play cards or bingo, and take several short trips a year. Although I did not get love from my family, I received much love from my friends. Then, at the age of 78, I fell and broke my hip bone. I was taken to the hospital and had a hip replacement. During my stay in the hospital and rehab. I received more visits from my friends than my family. On the day that I was discharged, my son picked me up. He began to talk about nursing homes and how much better I would be in one of them. When I adamantly refused to entertain his suggestion, the conversation was terminated. During my recovery period, I had a visiting nurse and a home attendant. They were the sweetest individuals you would ever meet. Once a month, my son would show up. His conversation would always start with nursing homes. He seemed to be obsess with them. Every time, I would stop him and terminate the conversation. Although he would get upset, he would change topics. As for my grandchildren, they did not come to see me. No, let me correct that. One of my grandsons did come over to ask for money. When I gave him ten dollars, he quickly vanished and has not been seen yet. My friends would come over to keep me company. When I became strong enough to move, my home attendant would accompany me to the community center. Two years later, I was back in the hospital. I had fallen and fractured my other hip. Immediate surgery was performed. After a relative short stay in the hospital, I was placed in a rehabilitation center where I stayed several weeks. During this time I saw my son three or four times. As for my grandchildren, not once. Those who kept me company, made me laugh and gave me warmth were my neighbors and friends. When I returned home little did I know that my days were numbered. Since I was in the hospital, I gave my son power of attorney. Little did I know that he was going to use it against me. Behind my back, my son made arrangements to sell my home and place me in a nursing home. His reason was that I was too grow and sick to care for myself. He failed to realize that I was not alone. Besides my home attendant, I had wonderful and caring neighbors. But, how would he know that. He was never around. Too sick and tired of arguing with him, I gave in without a fight. I was shipped to a nursing home. That was the most depressing day of my life. I felt like an unwanted human being sent to the woods to die. Even though I was wheel chair bound, my mind was clear. Everyday was the same. They would wake me up early, help me get dress and place me in my wheel chair. You have no idea what loneliness is until you find yourself in that situation. I just wanted to die. My son took away my home and friends, and left me in a place where loneliness and sadness roamed the corridors. Once in awhile my friends would come and visit, but the visits became less and less. The traveling was a bit too much for them. I had been placed in a nursing home very far from where I lived. Whenever one of them showed up it was because someone drove them. My son came once a month, and only stayed a few minutes. He was always in a hurry. “Do you need something?…I need to go …I have something I need to do,” he would always say. “Yes, I need something…how about some love for your mother,” I would say to myself. I became close to the woman in the next room. Her name was Betty. Since my friends had stopped coming to visit me because of illness or death, Betty became my only true friend. Her situation was similar to mine. Both of us were abandoned by our children. Betty had three children-two daughters and a son. On rare occasions her oldest daughter would drop by for a quick visit. I never saw her other daughter or son. On several occasions, I would drop by her room and find her staring at photos of her children and grandchildren with tears in her eyes. After two years and various hospital stays, Betty passed away. My life was never the same after that. My only friend had gone away leaving me behind. Although there were several patients and staff members in the home, it was not the same. The majority of the patients were either very sick or in a world of their own. As for the staff, they would come and go. By this time, my life was completely empty. I had no friends or family. My son would visit once a month for five or ten minutes. There were even times when he would not show up. It was one excuse after another. As for my grandchildren, it was as if I had none. They never came to visit me.
Days turned into weeks; weeks turned into months; and months turned into years. Nothing changed in my life. Everyday I prayed to God to take me away. I no longer wanted to live. Then one day, I woke up and found myself standing in front of my body. I was staring at my old and tired body. At first, I did not understand what was happening. I thought I was dreaming. After a short while, I realized that I was no longer in the body. I had entered the spirit world. My desire was granted. I was free. I no longer carried the burden of earthly emotions and/or illnesses. Feelings of depression and sadness did not exist. When I turned around, I noticed familiar figures standing in front of an immense bright light. It was my parents and grandmother. They gave me a welcoming smile and guided me into the light. From time to time, I have been allowed to visit my family down on earth. My son, who never had time for me, is experiencing the same loneliness that I experienced. He is ill, and no one seems to care. No one visits or calls. He has no family or friends. At times, he calls my name. A few times, I heard him ask God to forgive him for all the wrong things he did. "Oh, dear God, forgive me. You gave me a wonderful mother, and I did not know how to appreciate her. Now, she is gone and I am feeling the weight of my sins. Please, have mercy on my soul. Mother, if you are around, please forgive me for my lack of compassion." If there is someone in your life that has been good to you, reach out to them and tell them how much you love them. As a person gets old, it is important to know that they are loved.
Spiritual Love
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